


Fiction to Reality

by Lopadopalis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, How Do I Tag, M/M, Original Character(s), The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-11-09 08:07:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20850200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lopadopalis/pseuds/Lopadopalis
Summary: Post the Homestuck Meat Epilogue, so read that first. Or don't, and be confused.One by one, the characters of Homestuck begin to appear in real life. Other works would have these characters bounce around in the real world and conduct shenanigans. Not me.That's not how I roll.Slow to Update (I'm assuming, at least).





	1. ACT 1: 8Fold

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work I've posted (but not the first one I started writing). It gets nuts, by the way.

One second, Vriska was whirling through the air towards the black hole far above the fractured battlefield of Paradox Space. The next, she lay on warm grass, sun beating down on her. She sat up. What was she doing here? She needed to see what happened. What was this place? A quick examination of the area revealed that she was in some kind of grassy field, the yellow stalks of wheat too high for her to see over. She groaned as she clutched at the black shard of existence in her chest. It hadn’t pierced too deep into her, but it hurt. She knows that she shouldn’t pull it out, she’ll just bleed to death, if the wound in her skull doesn’t kill her first. She needs to see. She needs to see. No. Not important. Even as a God Tier, there’s no telling if her death will actually kill her. She struggles up, pushes her way through the field towards-she doesn’t know where she’s going, really. Anywhere works.

The fields stop, and she steps onto asphalt. Her blood stains it dark blue, blood which she both is and isn’t surprised she still has so much of. The higher on the spectrum, the more durable. A voice calls out. “Hello?” she looks up and sees a man-a human-standing next to a white pickup truck (not that she would know what that is), facing her. “What the hell…” he says. Vriska points a shaking finger at him. “Who the hell are you?” she asks, then coughs. “I’m Jack Carlson.” Vriska shakes her head groggily. “Never heard of anybody named Carlson.” Jack, not to be confused with the ice hockey player, speaks again. “Well, I’ve heard of you. And my god, do you need medical attention.” Vriska laughs again, coughs. “I’m fine.” Then she falls to her knees and lands on her side. Jack runs to her, starts to help her up. “Stop helping me!” she yells at him, before immediately falling unconscious.

“Holy crap.” Jack says, and heaved her into his truck, sits her up in the passenger seat, then begins driving. He turns around from wherever he was going and towards a friend’s house. How? How is this possible? Did Homestuck suddenly get bored of existing as fiction and decide to spontaneously send Vriska into the real world? Does Andrew Hussie know? These questions whirl around in the head of Jack Carlson. As he drives, he occasionally sneaks a quick glance over at her. Most definitely Vriska. Down to the piece of reality stuck in her chest. He keeps driving and occasionally checks her pulse. Which is… moderate. He keeps driving until he arrives at an old friend’s house. An old friend who is an avid fan of Homestuck and also a trained doctor, one who is currently off of work right now. Now, Jack knows absolutely nothing about troll biology, and his friend isn’t entirely sure, but he needs somebody to help her.

“Hey Edgar.” Jack knocks on the door. “Edgar, you there?” Another man opens the door. “Yeah, what do you want, Jack?” Jack wrings his hands together. “I need to show you something. Or someone, rather.” Edgar shakes his head. “Can it wait?” “No.” Jack responds. “It most definitely cannot.” he grabs his buddy’s arm and practically drags him to his pickup truck. “Hey, hey, what’s- oh my god.” Edgar stops as he stares at the troll. “Blue blood. Grey skin. Pincer and stinger horns.” He taps the stinger horn’s tip, then pulls back his finger. “Sharp, ow.” he cracks open her left eye. “Seven pupils. We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen.” he nods to Jack, and the two of them start to help her out of the truck and into Edgar’s house. “Christ almighty, Jack. It’s fucking Vriska Serket.” Jack nods as they close his door and dump her on the living room table once Edgar clears it. “I know. Crazy, right?” Edgar skips-ish over to a cabinet and opens it, revealing a medkit of some sort. “Always have one of these, just in case. So, she’s got a gash on her head, and a spike of reality in her chest which only went into her sternum. Jack.” “What is it?” Edgar looks him in the eyes. “This is her right after Meat 13.”

An hour later, they’ve patched up her wounds, and are busy mulling over the spike of reality they pulled out. Which is remarkably physical. “Hey Edgar.” “Hmm?” “Do you think cherub poison could end up existing in the real world?” Edgar just shrugs. “Hell if I know.” “Okay Edgar, we gotta do something with this thing.” “Burn it.” Edgar responds nonchalantly. “Just go find a steel mill and go nuts Terminator 2 Style. Or, better yet,” he pulls out a hammer. “Break it.” as he walks towards it, Jack shouts “Edgar, no! We don’t know what-” the shard of reality simply poofs into dust which dissipates when Edgar hits it. “Oh. Nevermind.”

“We gotta find Andrew Hussie, man. Give him the rundown.” Edgar says. “Yeah. Any idea where he’ll show up next?” Edgar shrugs his shoulders in response, then goes to check the internet for any potential upcoming cons of any kind. “Yeah, he’s gonna be at this one happening in 3 days. It’s in Houston.” Christ. They’re in Chicago. “Better get a flight spot stat, then, I suppose.” Jack says. Edgar chuckles. “Should we tell anybody else about…” Jack shakes his head. “Let’s not overcomplicate things.” Edgar pauses. “We should probably drive, unless you want to shove Vriska in our luggage.” Oh yeah. Jack nods.

“So we’re taking the 16 hour 14 minute drive to Houston, if Google Maps is accurate.” Edgar says. The two of them are hunched over a computer, checking google maps, when Vriska shuffles in. “Don’t thank me.” Jack says immediately. Vriska just nods. “Why am I here?” she asks. “I need to go back. I have to see. I have to see.” Edgar goes over and steadies her when she stumbles. “See the unloading of the Juju?” Jack says. Vriska nods. He follows up with “I can describe it. But also not whatsoever. Because I suck at descriptions. Here, hold on a second. Edgar, come here.” Jack leads Edgar out. “Should we spill the beans to her? About Meat?” Edgar sighs. “Oh dear god, what the fuck do you think she’s gonna do? Lose it.” “Lose it over what?” Vriska says as she leans into the room. “Do you really want to know?” she nods. “It will break you.” Edgar warns. “I can handle it.” Vriska says. “I don’t know if you can.” Jack responds. He has a concerned look on his face. “I can. Just tell me.” Edgar sighs. Jack goes over to the computer, and types in The Homestuck Epilogues. He clicks Meat, then opens Meat 13 and Meat 15. “Go nuts. Now, I’m going to stand back to avoid the fallout.” Vriska looks at Jack funny. “Fallout?” What's this?” Edgar speaks. “The bomb. Oh yeah, and-” he goes over, grabs the computer, and opens up the Homestuck Adventure Map. “Have a look at that second. Focus on the brain break of the first, then absorb the second.”

After reading Meat 13, Vriska is completely silent. She wipes her eyes. She reads Meat 15 next and shakes. She’s crying now. When she skims the Adventure Map, she has a dead look on her face. “We’re fiction in this world, aren’t we?” she says. Jack sighs. “You’re fiction, period.” Vriska’s voice cracks. “Everything I’ve ever done… has been observed, catalogued, and manipulated?” Edgar shrugs. “Sorry.” She stands up from where she’s sitting on the couch, and then runs into the bathroom and locks the door. “Warned her.” Jack says.

An hour passes.

“Vriska?” no response. Jack sighs. “You there?” there’s more silence, followed by a choked sob. “Go away.” she says. “C’mon, we’re leaving, and you’re coming.” Vriska sniffles. “Ok, look. I’m sorry about all that. I acted irrationally, it’s just that I didn’t know what to do, and I made a mistake. It was a bad call. I just…” Jack turns away from the door and slumps against it. “Oh god I suck at motivational speeches, I thought that if I showed you, I guess maybe it would be better if you knew. Maybe it’s because some twisted part of me wanted to watch you suffer for all of the shit you’ve done. Maybe I wanted to sock it to you, but I doubt it. I told you because… I guess maybe because I felt that you had a right to know. You’d been through so much shit. I guess I thought it was a reprieve… but it wasn’t. It was just another thing on said pile of shit you’ve endured. I’m… sorry.” Jack sits up, then starts to walk away. Then the door swings open. Vriska stands there, and she is a mess. “Where are we going?” she asks.

1:00 PM  
They leave at 1:00 in the afternoon, taking Edgar’s RAV 4. Vriska is silent as they drive, sitting in the backseat. Jack pores over some roadmaps. “So are we just going to drive through the night?” Edgar asks. Carlson nods.

6:12 PM  
“Hey, check it out. 6:12. Hehe.” Edgar says. Jack just has a look at Serket. She’s fallen asleep.

9:13 PM  
“Ok, we have to stop for gas.” Edgar says. Jack nods. They pull off their route. Google maps speaks up. “Turn right onto-” “Shut up.” Edgar turns it off. Jack begins to refuel the car. Edgar taps at the dashboard. When Jack finishes and comes inside, Edgar speaks. “I’m just gonna go get a beer or something.” Jack nods. Edgar gets out, crosses the street, and heads towards R&P Gas and Liquor. After he buys something and heads out, he spots a figure dash behind the nearby Los Portales Mexican restaurant. One with an all too familiar pair of horns.

“Kanaya?” Edgar asks, and the jadeblood wheels, pointing her chainsaw. “No wait, I’m a friend. I can help you.” Kanaya seems unsure. “What’s the last thing you remember?” Maryam thinks before speaking. “I was on a ship chasing after Dirk. And then I woke up here.” Edgar snaps his fingers. “Bingo. Here. Come with me, I’m going to take you to Jack and Vriska.” Kanaya seems confused. “Vriska? Jack?” Edgar tenses as she does. “Different Jack. Carlson. Anyway, I’ll take you to them. They can help. I promise.” Kanaya pauses, relaxes a little. “Fine.” she says.

“Yo Jack, we’ve got Maryam now.” Edgar says when Jack opens the car door. “Great, a second one?” Carlson responds. “Kanaya, just get into the car next to Vriska. We’re going somewhere. To someone who can help.” Kanaya still looks on edge. “Do you know where Dirk is?” she asks. “You asking so you can chainsaw him in half and add one more to your ‘members of destructive classes I bifurcated’ pile along with Eridan and Gamzee in some timeline?” Edgar says. She gives him a look. “Yes.” he nods. “Just get in the car please.”


	2. Man of the Con

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get Hussie, because that's always a logical thing when his characters spontaneously exist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I'm not dead. Would you care if I was? I doubt it. Anyway, here's the next bit.

“Jesus christ is that-” “Yes Edgar, that’s Sollux.” Edgar and Jack are sitting at a Wendy’s in Hope, Arkansas watching TV. “What the eff is he doing on television?” “Attracting attention. This is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying, because the internet is blowing up about it, that’s a third troll, and Hope is on lockdown because he’s in it.” Jack sighs. “Like, have you seen the internet? He fuckin’ flew, man. People, whether Homestuck fans or not, are calling bullshut while also being terrified about the stuff he can do if he tries hard enough.”

“I do have a way that we can get him here.” Vriska says. “What, is it- oh, that again.” Edgar sighs. “I say do it.” Jack says. Vriska nods. “We are seriously doing this?” Edgar wonders aloud. “We do it, we get the fuck out of dodge. The end.” Jack says. “So we’re doing this?” Edgar asks. Vriska nods. Then she holds her hands up against her head and concentrates. A few minutes later, Sollux flies over and sets down. Then he speaks. “Vriska, what the fuck did you do to me goddammit.” Jack facepalms and mutters something about how we should’ve thought this through. Edgar speaks up. “Sollux, we’re friends, we need you to follow us lest you keep on being trailed by all of those people who want to rip you apart and experiment on you.” Sollux thinks for a moment. “Sollux, just c’mon.” Kanaya says. “I’ve yet to see you for a while, and I don’t want to lose you again.” The gold blood sighs. “Fine, kan.”

“We have reached our destination, last stop everybody off.” Edgar says. “So where should we head in?” Jack asks. “Blend in, head into some storage room, show him there.” Edgar nods. “Alright guys, follow me.” The trolls disembark and follow the humans. They blend into the massive crowds of cosplayers (Vriska looks downtrodden, Kanaya looks confused, and Sollux is mostly blind so he can’t really see much anyway), and get into a storage room of some sort down some halls. “Stay here guys, I’ll go look for the big man.” Jack says, and wanders off to look for Andrew Hussie.

“Andrew Hussie?” Jack finds the person he’s searching for just hanging around signing things, and speaks as soon as he can. The big man turns to Jack. “Yes?” Jack sighs and thinks oh god how do I do this. “Ok, I’m not going to start off with ‘I’m your biggest fan’ or whatever, because my priority list goes beyond that. Look, I just…” Jack pauses for a moment. “I have something I need to show you. It is not a ‘look what I made aren’t you proud of me’, nor anything else like that. This is something you have to see. I don’t know how to convince you, so I guess I’ll just end my ramble.” Hussie thinks, then stands up. “Sure, I guess I’ll check it out.”

Jack opens the door and peers into the room where Edgar, Sollux, Kanaya, and Vriska are. “Orange guy!” Vriska says and stands up, but Edgar stops her. “Hey, hey, hey, don’t punch him or anything! Jesus christ…” “Alright,” Jack says. “Somebody cut open your hand. Please. No, not Edgar. One of the trolls.” There’s a pause. “I’ll do it.” Kanaya says. “Does anyone have anything sharp?” Edgar asks. Vriska pulls out a small switchblade (where’d she get that? Jack wonders) and hands it to Kanaya, and calmly cuts open her hand. Jade green blood drips out. “Take a good look.” Jack says to Hussie. His expression changes to one of confusion. “Real Jade blood.” Jack says. “Real. Not cosplayers. Real. People.” As Hussie examines Kanaya’s hand, Edgar leans over to Jack. “Jack.” “What?” “Does this mean that all of our headcanon troll voices are wrong?” “Yeah, I guess so.” There’s a sound of the storage room door opening and a voice says “Uh, what.” Everyone turns to see two more people leaning into the room.

“Karkat, Dave!” Kanaya says, and goes over to them. “What’s the last thing you guys remember?” Edgar asks. “Well, we fell asleep, and woke up here. Then we took the first door.” Dave says. Edgar leans over to Jack. “Wanna bet they fell asleep together and that’s why they both showed up?” Jack lightly elbows his friend. “Shut up.” Hussie just stands in one spot and seems to be going through dozens of thought processes at once.

Hussie takes Edgar and Jack aside. “We’ve got to hide them somewhere.” he says. They nod. “I’ve got a large cabin up north, we can stop there.” Edgar says. “Cabin? Dude, that thing’s basically a house.” Jack says. “It should work. And hopefully no government agents come knocking looking to harvest troll guts.” Edgar says. “Yeah, people have already seen Sollux and the internet has been blowing up about it.” Jack says. Hussie nods. “Let’s get going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh... How do I write Hussie?


	3. Hideout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travel to a functioning hideout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Road trip time! Again...

“Dude.” Edgar whispers. “Yeah?” Jack responds. “This is fucking weird. I’m sitting in a car driving trolls around.” “Yeah.” Jack mutters. The group has two cars. The first one has Edgar driving and Jack in shotgun, with Vriska and Sollux in the backseat. The second has Hussie driving with Kanaya in shotgun, and Dave and Karkat in the back. The drive is estimated to take about ten hours, and the time is currently 10:36 AM.

11:54 AM  
“Look at them. Fast asleep.” Kanaya says, looking over Dave and Karkat, both of whom are leaning on the other. “Who are you, specifically?” Kanaya asks Hussie. “I’m… just a guy.” Oh god how does one react when confronted by their own character in the flesh who is also a kickass vampire space lesbian. “Hey, they told you, right? Edgar and Jack?” He asks. Kanaya looks confused. “Told me what?” he sighs. “Guess they didn’t. Don’t worry about it.”

12:43 PM  
“Vriska, what the hell are you arguing with Sollux about?” Jack asks. “Relevance.” is Vriska’s response, and then she and Sollux go back to some babbling at each other.

1:56 PM  
“Edgar, turn that music off.” Jack asks as Edgar listens to some pop music. “Please?” Jack asks again. Edgar sighs and turns it off.

2:32 PM  
“The internet is still blowing up.” Jack says. “Chaos on there. It started as several dozen uploads of ‘Sollux being a dick because the world was screwing him over’ and now it’s all gone to hell. Also, people are still wondering where Andrew Hussie went, considering the guy just used the excuse that he had something to do and then we bounced.” Edgar sighs. “Crazy.”

4:13 PM  
Vriska reaches over and puts an old wrapper on sleeping Sollux’s head. “What.” is all Edgar has to say. Vriska just shrugs and chuckles.

6:12 PM  
“6:12 again.” Jack says. “Crazy how much stuff happened between the last 6:12.” Edgar says. “Feels like yesterday.” he pauses, scrunches his face up, then says “No, wait, it did.” he and Jack chuckle. “Only about two more hours, right?” Jack asks. Edgar nods.

6:18 PM  
“Jack, what are you doing?” Edgar asks. “Watching Gravity.” Jack says. “Ah, the 90-minute anxiety attack. Just keep your headphones in, please.” Edgar says. Jack nods.

8:55 PM  
“We’re here.” Jack says. “Last stop,” Edgar starts, but Sollux cuts him off. “Everybody off. We get it, whatever the fuck your name is again.” “I’m Edgar.” “Ok, whatever.” One by one, everyone gets out, and stares at the person who’s standing in front of the house which isn’t a cabin.

“Um.” Dirk says.

Edgar, Karkat, and Jack have to physically restrain Kanaya from ripping him to shreds right there and then as she screams at him. Jack lets Edgar and Karkat struggle with her as he speaks. “Here’s the deal. Everyone listen! I am proposing a truce. We are trying to help all of you, because in case you haven’t gathered, you’re in another universe. So, nobody kills or maims anybody else while you’re here, got it? GOT IT!?” there’s a pause as his words seep in. Dirk just calmly stands in one spot. Jack goes over to him. “And you, drop your whole goddamn ‘I’m the villain and everyone else sucks’ act and work with us here.” Dirk just nods.

After everyone’s weapons are taken away and stored where no one can get them (hopefully, but who’s to stop gods), Dirk gets confined in a room simply for his own safety. Everyone beds down for the night (Edgar makes a snarky comment about Dave and Karkat taking the same bed and Jack responds with “Shut up, Edgar”)

9:07 AM  
Hussie, Jack, Edgar, Dave, Sollux, Karkat, Kanaya, and Vriska are busy trying to figure out if there’s any particular reason that any one of them would have shifted to this universe, and also how they may be able to get them back. The only one whose arrival seems to at least make some sense is Vriska, who was flying towards the black hole when she woke up here.

_Knock knock___

_ _“What was that?” Dave asks. “Someone knocked on the door, duh.” Jack responds, and checks the window of the door, making out the blurry image of what looks to be another troll. “It’s another one of the trolls, no government agents to be seen.” he says, and Edgar shouts back “Let them in, then!” Jack opens up the door._ _

_ _Terezi stands in the doorway, holding John in her arms. He looks to be simply unconscious, and she looks as though she’s been crying. “Help me.” is all she says._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where it takes a sharp veer away from fun times and I fuck John over

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Vriska. I'm such a dick.


End file.
